The Musings of an Olympics Junky

The Musings of an Olympics Junky

Published August, 2012

            The Olympics have been underway for a week, and I confess, I have watched at least half of NBC's projected 3,500 hours of broadcast.  I'm a sports junky, and the Olympics are the epitome of sport, and I, the junky, am mainlining the event.

            I had planned to work Friday night, but the opening ceremony with the Queen, escorted by James Bond, parachuting into the stadium was too much to miss.  It is so hard to work with the TV on and me in front of it.  What writing I am doing is during commercials, late at night, or early in the morning when there are no broadcasts, but as the week has progressed, even those windows of time have closed due to modern technology that allows me to watch around the clock, or record events when fatigue demands my nightly sacrifice to the sleep gods.

            If you do the math of dividing the broadcast hours by 24, you will find a result of 145.83 days, or 4.8 months.  How can that be?  Easy, there is the broadcast channel, three cable channels, television and cell phone apps, along with live, streaming of events over the internet.  I can watch events live in HD on my phone!  I bet I can get the Olympics over the microwave or refrigerator if I try.  How did I ever think I wouldn't be watching?

            I don't really care about equestrian events, but I watch.  I like the horses, don't care much for the people, but the Royals are in the stands, so that's cool.  Who's the athlete here anyway, the horse, or the rider? 

            Every four years, I swear that I am not going to watch such sports as curling in the Winter Olympics and badminton during the summer games, but when they come on, if there are no other options, I'm watching.  I even watched soccer before the other events started, and as much as it pains me to confess, I enjoyed it.

            We all have our favorites.  Most women and a good number of men love women's gymnastics.  I don't care for it.  I prefer track-and-field because I want an objective outcome as opposed to a subjective one.  I like a clear winner, not a judged one. 

            If you've followed this column, you know that I have written about two sports more than others.  One is in the Olympics, boxing, and one once was, is no longer, but should be, baseball.

            Boxing is subjective, and the scoring is done by people who are either blind, or are selected randomly off the street and are offered ring side seats if they will come in and punch some buttons.  I often wonder if they have ever seen a fight, or are watching the same one I am.  See what I mean about subjective? 

            Would someone please explain to me why air rifle shooting with contraptions that do not even remotely resemble an air rifle, and the shooter who is covered with so much gear you think he might be a Borg from a Star Trek movie, is considered an Olympic sport, and baseball, played by at least half the world, is not?  Really?  Something I did as a kid to break windows and aggravate my parents and neighbors is an Olympic sport, but the other thing that I did all day, breaking windows and aggravating my parents into the night is not in the Olympics?

            Another sport I don't get being in the Olympics is ping-pong, oops, excuse me, table tennis.  Are there more countries in the world that see this as sport rather than baseball?  The game is nothing like we play in the garage unless you have a very large garage, and body armor.  Forest Gump should have run in the Olympics anyway.

            ESPN Sports Science did a piece on table tennis that reported that the ball, when served, arrives at the end of the table in less time than it takes to blink an eye.  To be able to see it, players stand eight feet behind the table to return serve of a tiny, plastic ball that is moving at over a hundred-miles-per-hour.

            I can hear my mother now, "Y'all stop serving that ping-pong ball at over an hundred-miles-per-hour!  You're gonna' put someone's eye out!"  This is the same ball that my dog used to crush in his jaws when we didn't get to it first, and it's going to put my eye out?

            I do believe that doing anything during my childhood, except eating vegetables, was capable of putting out an eye.  Maybe they should have a running with scissors game as part of the Olympics.  It would make as much sense as air rifle shooting with all its fancy visors and mirrors, and scoring would be clear-cut, (get it, scissors, clear-cut), but I am rambling.

            I guess if they had vegetable eating in the Olympics, I'd watch it.  I don't care what the sport is, even team handball which I had never heard of before this year, I want team USA to win, and when we don't, I hurt.  I feel it to be my patriotic duty to cheer our country in every sport, even those that do not make any sense to me.  When I make the sacrifice to watch and cheer, and not work, or stay up too late to work the next day, and get up before dawn to watch more games on four channels, my computer, and my phone, those gals, and guys, had better be winning.

            Oh, excuse me; I must stop.  The commercial is almost over.  Happy obsessive watching to all y'all.

How to Survive a Public Shooting

How to Survive a Public Shooting

Published July, 2012

            With the increasing frequency of public shootings, such as the ones in Tuscaloosa, and Aurora, Colorado, I have become concerned for the safety of my family and myself at crowded, public gatherings.  I have always envisioned these scenarios, wondered what I would do, and have formulated a plan of action.  To me, that is not paranoia, but being prepared, which is key, as any Boy Scout will tell you, for success in any of life's circumstances.

            The possibility of being involved in a public shooting is virtually nil, but these events are happening.  I am going to give you some tips, not as an expert, but as a common sense guy with a strong penchant for survival.

            The first one is something I have hounded the Admiral and Princesses with for years; be aware of your surroundings.  Do not wander about ignorant of what is going on around you, for such makes you a victim.  Observe the people and the place. 

            Note exits wherever you are.  They instruct you on airplanes to "make a note of your nearest exit", for a reason.  Make it a habit.         

            While making note of exits, observe any obstacles that may slow you getting out.  It may be faster, and safer to take an exit that is further away.  When a life-threatening event occurs, time is critical, and seconds can mean the difference between being a victim, or a survivor.

            In a crowd, keep your head up and look around.  Observe the people, particularly those observing you.  Make eye contact with them and let them know you see them.  Don't be confrontational, but criminals are cowards and are looking for weakness.  If they know you are watching them, you have communicated that you will not be an easy mark. 

            Look for people acting different than the situation would dictate.  At a late night movie premier, the atmosphere is loud and boisterous with lots of smiles, laughter, and costumes, whereas at a church or worship gathering, the behavior will be quiet reverence.  If you see someone in either situation not blending, acting nervous, or agitated, watch them.  They may be having a bad day, or are nervous in new surroundings or crowds, but whatever the case, forewarned is forearmed, and if necessary, take action. 

            What action do you take?  Above all, don't panic.  As they teach in scuba classes, when something goes wrong, stop, think, then act.  A person in full panic, running, waving their arms, screaming wild eyed for an exit, may as well have a target painted on their back.  You only have split seconds when something like a public shooting happens, and again, what you do in those precious moments can be the difference between being a survivor, or a victim.

            If you are near an exit, and far enough from the shooter when gunfire breaks out, and you can get out with those who are with you, get out.  How far is far enough away from the shooter?  That is a judgment call.  If I am more than five steps from an exit, there is a crowd between the exit and me, or I cannot get those I am responsible for out with me, I am not going.

            The thing they drill into you in infantry training, and in combat, is, "Get down, and stay down!"  Running routes are easy for a shooter to figure out especially if you are in a panic.  The human eye is attuned to motion, so once down, and concealed, stay still!  Unless you can get yourself, and those with you unobserved to a safer point, you are better off where you are. 

             When you go down, get as low as you can, and seek solid cover, something that will stop a bullet.  If you are caught in the open, lie flat and make yourself as small a target as possible, and DO NOT MOVE!  If possible, keep your eyes open and watch the shooter.  You may have the opportunity to take further action.

            There are exceptions to the not moving rule, but they come with risk.  If you are secure, call the police.  There may have been a hundred calls made, but you may be the person who is calm enough, and in a place where you can make observations that will be helpful to first responders.  Making this call can save the lives of those within, and without.

            If you and those with you are safe, aid the wounded.  Do what you can with what you have.  This is where first aid training will save lives.  Take a course, now.  Be prepared.

            At some point, a shooter will have to stop to reload, or to draw another weapon, or he may turn his back to you.  You will have a second or two to act when their attention is diverted.  If you need to move, now is the time.  If you have the training, or a weapon of your own, attack the shooter.  You will be in a crowd, and if you act, so will others, but above all else, you are to survive and to save as many around you as possible.  If you cannot eliminate the shooter, or don't want to take the chance, the aid you render to those near you is just as valuable. 

            Your chances of survival are much higher if you will use the one weapon we all carry with us, our brains.  If you will stop, think, then act, not react, your chances of survival in any disaster are significantly higher.

            Some of you may be thinking to stay home rather than risking exposure in a large gathering, don't.  When you do, the bad guys win.  Go forth, enjoy life, but as you should in every situation, be prepared.