"Come, Let Us Reason Together" The Fourth and Final in a Series Addressing Public Violence

            The Hydra was the monster of mythology with many heads, that when one was cut off, two more sprang up in its place unless the stub of the missing head was burned, so that no more could grow. It took great strength and courage to kill Hydra.

            Our Hydra, public violence, with its many heads of gun proliferation, mental health, societies' tolerance of violence, video games, and all the heads that will grow when one is lopped off, will, as in myth, take a Herculean effort to kill, but it can be done. Our solution is as simple as slashing and burning, but far more difficult. 

            To implement the solution to our problem of public violence, we have to go back to basics, back to fundamentals. That is what any coach or teacher in any discipline preaches. When you are having a problem, when things are going badly, go back to the basics, the fundamentals. The same principal applies to any aspect of life. When the problem seems insurmountable, go back to basics, the fundamentals.

            What are the fundamentals of society upon which all is built? The family. We have lost our way in society because the basic concept of family has changed. It is time to get back to basics.

            The basic family is a man and a woman, married, with children. In my basic family, my mother was the nurturer, the stay at home parent, while my father was the provider, the one who faced the world every day to make sure we at home were protected and had what we needed to grow and prosper. Society has strayed from this model.

            It began with the desire and quest for material things, which has driven the mother out of the home and into the work place. Young couples are no longer willing to wait, struggle, and sacrifice to build a future and a family. They want it now, thus, the mother works. Not so long ago, the norm was for the father to work and the mother to nurture at home. That is no longer the rule, but the exception.

            I know how hard it is to provide for a family in modern times. I have done it for eight children and thirty-nine years, with five or more to go before the Princesses are grown and gone. Until last year, the Admiral had never worked, and doesn't have to now, but as the Princesses are no longer homeschooled, and I am at home, she has chosen to labor in her field of special education. Being a family with a single provider has not been easy, and we have not had the biggest, the best, or the most, but we have had sufficient for our needs, and enough left over for some wants.

            When number two daughter in the first litter of six, (the Princesses constitute the second litter of two) was getting married, the family was together the night before the wedding. The Admiral and I asked them what they remembered about growing up with us. Their answer was surprising.

            Not one mentioned the cars, the nice house, the boat, or trips we took. To a person, their fondest memories were when we were so poor we couldn't afford to run the air conditioning, so in the evenings, we would load into the beat up Volkswagen bus, strap the canoe on top and go to a creek. There, we would float it, have a picnic, throw the kids into the current and let them float down stream to the end of a sand bar where the Admiral waited, then climb out of the water, run to where I was and do it all over again.

            The bride's memory was different. She recalled a time as a pre-teen when she and I were traveling together by air and I went into a store on the concourse and bought her a rose. I have no recollection of that event, but it is precious to her.

            Regardless of the memory, it wasn't the material things that were important to them, it was the time. The time we spent together as a family, the nurturing they experienced by both parents.

            During that time together, we taught them the basics. They learned discipline by us, and of self. They learned respect for their siblings, which would translate to others outside the family. They learned tolerance. In a family of eight children, each is different, but they respect those differences.

            They did not play video games much, and never of a violent nature, because we as parents were, and are involved in their activities, monitoring what they do. They are taught moral principles and we trust them to make right choices. Should they not, they will be disciplined until they do.

            That is what is missing in our modern society, discipline. I have no fear of any of my children committing public acts of violence. They know respect, tolerance, and discipline, but they have also learned that problems have solutions. Their lives are not perfect, but they know that if the solution to a problem does not come today, it will be worked on tomorrow, or the next day, or maybe the next several days, but there is a solution. They have taken responsibility for the problem. It is no one else's fault.

            Our solution is to get back to fathers presiding over their families in love and righteousness, providing as well as protecting them, and for mothers being primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. Things happen, such as death, illness, and divorce that make this ideal impossible, but whether these roles are strictly adhered to or not, the basic principles of good citizenship and discipline can be taught.

            The solution to public violence does not exist in governments legislating guns, mental health, video games, or anything else. The solution is in your home around the dinner table as parents preside over discussions of daily events and give proper guidance and discipline to the children. If we raise good citizens in the home, public violence, our Hydra, will die, as we no longer feed it.