Memorial Day and Ribs

          It will be Memorial Day on Monday. Our family will put on our annual celebration. We will deck ourselves out in our homemade, red-while-and-blue t-shirts that we made years ago, decorate the house with patriotic banners, ribbons and bunting, and even lights along the driveway. It is a big deal for us and for many of our friends, but whereas we observe the day for its intended purpose, to honor our nation's fallen heroes who have sacrificed all for our safety and freedom, I suspect some of our guests are wanting to come over for another reason, the ribs.

            I have friends who love my ribs. These friends hint at various times of the year that it is time to do ribs and to invite them over.  I have friends who are only friends because I do ribs. They are the ones who, when the ribs are late coming off the grill, pace the floor drooling. They are the first to say, “We hate to eat and run, but…” 

            All want my recipe and I will tell them, as I am about to tell you, the recipe and the method, but nobody believes me because it is not magic, or complicated. It is so simple people think I am withholding some dark secret. Secrets take effort, and if cooking ribs took effort, I wouldn't do them. If it leans toward work, I am not doing it. Lazy describes my culinary work ethic. So, like myself, my recipe has to be simple and easy.

            The number of askers has grown to a demanding mob, well; a large group, maybe ten or so, and I acquiesce.  I shall reveal all…most all. You won't accept it, but here we go:

            Rub down the slab of ribs on both sides with a dry rub the night before you are going to cook them and keep them refrigerated. "Slap Ya’ Mama" is good stuff, if you can find it, as are many others on the grocer’s shelf, or you can make your own.  Guess which way I go…lazy.  Don’t overdo the rub, most go a long way. I guess I should used a culinary phrase such as, “season to taste”, but I ain’t no gourmet, or for that matter, a cook. 

            Build a small fire in such a way that you can feed it as the day wears on. My grill allows for indirect heat, and that is the only way go. Direct heat and flames are big no-nos. Your fire should be between two hunert, and two hunert and fity degrees. Maybe that’s “hunnert”. I am never sure.  The key is to cook the ribs s – l – o – w.  That is to say, not fast. If you do not have a goodly portion of the day to dedicate to this task, do not insult the ribs by trying.

            You place the ribs on the grill bowl side up, or for you scientific types, the concave side up, and you don’t turn them…ever…remember, lazy.  If you break a sweat doing this, you are doing something wrong.

            You now make a trip to the grill every half-hour, which figures to be about every other commercial if you are watching a ball game. This is when you add charcoal and smoke. Smoke is the key. You need lots of smoke, little heat, and did I mention s – l – o – w?

            The ribs are done when the meat pulls away from the ends of the bones. Depending on your grill, this could be anywhere from two-and-a-half to three hours on up to four to six hours, or even longer. You should consult a cookbook about cooking pork and use a meat thermometer, or do as my daddy taught me, put your fingers on the meat and count, “one Mississippi, two Mississippi”…  If you get to five Mississippi, they ain’t done.  I get to ten Mississippi these days.  It has something to do with the scar tissue on my fingertips.

            Oh yeah, I almost forgot, the smoke! That is the real secret. Let me tell you about it.  Smoke comes from wood. You burn it…slow. You burn it slow by getting it wet before it goes on the coals. I use a mixture of woods. They are…oops, running out of space here. Told ya’ I’d reveal all…most.

            As you are enjoying your ribs or whatever this Memorial Day, please, at some point in your festivities stop and remember. There are families who are hurting as they miss loved ones who are not here to celebrate. Take a moment, be silent, and offer up a "thank you" for their sacrifice. They did it for you, to protect your right to cook ribs on a holiday. Take just a moment. I know they will appreciate it. Besides, you've got thirty minutes before you have to check the ribs again. Enjoy.